Life Beyond Hoarding

So I did it. It's done. We woke up at four am. He packed his half of the overnight bag just in case we had to borrow money from my brother and stay in a hotel (or in case the house was too gross and we needed a change of clothes after). I made coffee. He started to drive. We played the alphabet game (which is pretty rough in rural Pennsylvania). He won. Twice. Anxiousness was giving me heartburn so I was munching on Tums while he snacked on frosted animal crackers. The drive took four hours. I had told him about how disgusting our toilet was (I still don't know why it was like that, my brother and I have tried to clean it so many times), so we stopped to get gas and pee before going to my house. We went to grab bagels for my family, but when I asked the bagel guy who knows my family what they always order, he told me that they had already been in. So my boyfriend and I just ate our bagels in the car. We pulled up to the house. I felt weird. I didn't know if I was

So this is that weekend. I'm supposed to go up to the house and say goodbye to it and clear out all my stuff. I am not looking forward to it at all. But it might not happen this weekend. The roads are wicked icy apparently -- or they're going to be. There are two different routes I could go with it: John's Plan My boyfriend, John, comes home from work tonight. We go to bed super early (like seven o'clock). We wake up at 4am (ugh) and drive 4.5 hours to my house. We do something (????) with the dogs. We clean from 10am until we're finished. John expects 4-6 hours. Then we drive home. If we get started at 5, we should be here around 9-10pm. We sleep all Sunday, get up to watch the game, probably sleep some more. Pros: fast, gets it done with quickly, little time for feelings, can sleep all the next day Cons: little time for feelings, John drives 9 hours in one day (and cleans and puts up with me) Jacob's Plan My brother, Jacob, drives from my house

So as I might have mentioned, I'm 23 years old. I'm living in my own home relatively far away from all my family and friends. I have my boyfriend and my two dogs. We're not exactly rich. I work part-time from home (and am trying to get more into freelancing). He works full-time from an office. So when stuff breaks in the house, it's up to us to fix it. When it first started to get cold, we realized that our shower temperature left a lot to be desired. But we knew there was a temperature gauge in the shower itself. So, I lugged the tool bag upstairs and settled down on the floor and started looking up YouTube tutorials. It took me a while to get the shower handle disassembled, but once I did, that's when things got really confusing. I found the gauge and just could not get it to move. I tried for about half an hour, then went downstairs to take a breather and distance myself from it. My boyfriend went upstairs and took a crack at it, then I tried again. We just c

So we are selling the house I grew up in. As a child of a hoarder, I have a very complicated relationship with that house. My best friend was devastated when they had to sell her childhood home (and her grandfather lived right next door so it wasn't as if she would never be able to be in the area again and visit her hometown). My boyfriend was very upset when he moved away from home. I would say I'm relieved, but I'm mostly just apathetic. I've avoided going "home" as much as possible since I left six years ago. I stay for a week tops. And when I go back, I spend as little time in the house as possible. I go out and I wander around the mall alone. I take the dog on long walks. I do homework at the local library. Mostly I sleep late, find an excuse to leave – some friend I haven't seen in forever, a long walk to hang out with them, then a long walk home – dinner, and then tying up my running shoes to go out for a walk/run. I take the same route every nigh

As a kid I used to hate doing chores. But come on, who didn't? The only chore I liked was dusting and that was because I liked the smell of Lemon Pledge. But anything else I hated and didn't think I should have to do. My parents were divorced and I spent time at two different homes which led me to lack any feeling of ownership over the space. I felt like I was doing someone else's chores. But now, as an adult in her own space, I love my chores. But they weren't enforced when I was little so there is so much that I do not know. I had no concept of how frequently I was supposed to do my chores, everything I know I've learned from extensive googling of what's "normal" and asking my friends. Here's my chore breakdown: Dishes -- after every meal Vacuum downstairs -- every other day Vacuum upstairs -- twice a week Make bed -- daily Wash sheets -- every 1-2 weeks Wash towels -- every 1-2 weeks Deep clean one room -- 1-2 times a week Cle

I hate the "New Year, New Me" thing. I hate New Year's resolutions. A new year won't make it any easier to change your life, any easier to reinvent yourself. It's going to be hard no matter when you do it. There's no point in making resolutions that you won't follow and then feel guilty about breaking them. Just choose any day of the year, any day when the way you're living has become too much for you to bear, any day when you have the motivation, the urge, the drive to make the change. That's your new start. So many people are hungover on New Year's Day. Who wants to go to the gym when you were out late the night before? Who wants to clean the house or go for a run or eat a freakin' salad? No one. New Year's resolutions are set up to fail and when they do fail, you can tumble down a whole guilt spiral only amplified by the pressure associated with all of it. I didn't make any New Year's resolutions and I'm not living my